just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
