just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
