apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
