I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
