but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
