I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
