you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
