He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
