I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
