This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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