You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
