porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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