Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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