I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
