ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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