omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize