I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
