i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
