Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
