Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
