how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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