took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
