I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
