My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I supernannyed him into submission
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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