I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize