thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
