i permit you to call me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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