Define "chronic" masturbator.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
