Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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