i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize