just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
