my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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