you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
