I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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