I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
