just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When are your genitals available?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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