Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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