Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
