We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
