After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
