My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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