Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
