A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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