is your mom at the bar?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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