I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
tell me about the eggs
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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