You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
