hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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