What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
