First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
