I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
