How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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