He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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