i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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