When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
