your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize