have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
