So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
