And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
