I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
