Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize