Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
