ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
there is puke in my bra ... again
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