They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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