Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
