Me too!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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