I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
