Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
