His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
