just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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