Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
