At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
