Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
