just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
