She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
