xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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